PANDA:
[sighs] You’re so frickin’ hot.
RYAN:
We’re with you all the way, Hoffman!
ELLEN:
We’ll bump Team Hoffman’s thread ‘til Saw is forgotten!
PANDA:
What we wouldn’t give for a bump from you. [winks]
RYAN:
Some are Team Jacob,
Others Team Edward *cough* Team Rob,
A baffling few are Team Drillchair Jeff,
But this faction,
Ready for action,
We all love the Hoff!
PANDA:
Bump,
ELLEN:
Bump,
RYAN:
Bump,
TEAM HOFFMAN:
My thread!
MADISON:
Your eyes, your hair,
You’re just so sexy,
It’s hard not to stare,
TEAM HOFFMAN:
You’re the kinda gorgeous,
Classified as drop-dead,
RYAN:
Bump,
ELLEN:
Bump,
PANDA:
Bump,
TEAM HOFFMAN:
My thread!
HOFFMAN:
Listen, really nice of you all to... uh... support me. Thanks- [makes to leave]
ELLEN:
Where you going?
We aren’t done,
How can we let you go,
When you’re the one?
HOFFMAN:
Listen,
This is insane,
I’m fictional,
All this has to be in your brain,
Anyway, how am I,
Apparently, the perfect guy?
You’re all crazy.
PANDA:
Bump,
ELLEN:
Bump,
RYAN:
Bump,
TEAM HOFFMAN:
My thread!
MADISON:
Your eyes, your hair,
You’re just so sexy,
It’s hard not to stare,
TEAM HOFFMAN:
You’re the kinda gorgeous,
Classified as drop-dead,
RYAN:
Bump,
ELLEN:
Bump,
PANDA:
Bump,
TEAM HOFFMAN:
My thread!
HOFFMAN:
[points at PANDA] You’re thirteen,
[points at RYAN] I’m straight,
[points at MADISON] You’re really sweet,
But my actor’s forty-eight,
MADISON:
You seem to forget,
This is the Internet,
ELLEN:
Whoever we were,
Does it really matter?
PANDA:
You’re utterly Byronic,
Therefore sex-iconic,
RYAN:
You know I’m not gay,
Here, that I need to say,
PANDA:
Bump,
ELLEN:
Bump,
RYAN:
Bump,
TEAM HOFFMAN:
My thread!
HOFFMAN:
Noooo!
PANDA:
Bump,
ELLEN:
Bump,
RYAN:
Bump,
TEAM HOFFMAN:
My thread!
HOFFMAN:
Noooo!
MADISON:
Your eyes, your hair,
You’re just so sexy,
It’s hard not to stare,
TEAM HOFFMAN:
You’re the kinda gorgeous,
Classified as drop-dead,
RYAN:
Bump,
ELLEN:
Bump,
PANDA:
Bump,
TEAM HOFFMAN:
Our thread!
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